I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining examples of the teachings of a course in miracles, and fo the first time in an extended while, I don't feel alone.
Section of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I will be doing this for the incorrect reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I'd had any insights. What I'm about to talk about was not yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have allow you to see inside. Don't are interested troubling your mind, won't you let it be?” This confused me as I could not consider something that I'd stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don't are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I'd in arriving at the Monastery was that I'd somehow interfere with its residents'reassurance, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief has been (has been?) released.
There are other things that happened that felt important, but I can't consider them right now.