I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I'm still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining types of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for initially in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Section of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I will be doing this for the wrong reason; as a way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I'd had any insights. What I'm about to generally share wasn't yet clear during those times; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have let you see inside acim teacher. Don't want it troubling the mind, won't you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not consider something that I'd said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don't want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I'd in arriving at the Monastery was that I'd somehow interfere using its residents'peace of mind, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people's state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief will be (has been?) released.
You will find other items that happened that felt important, but I can't consider them right now.
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